Ballet is an unforgiving, harsh mistress.

Dear Diary,

I took a ballet class after a very long break from doing other styles.

I love ballet but I am thoroughly and painfully convinced that God did not build me for dancing – especially ballet – and I get painfully reminded how difficult it is to do it RIGHT. Even the fundamental turn out position is a challenge for me. An ideal fifth position in ballet means that your feet are turned out at 180º and the sides of your feel should ideally stick together to form one beautiful line. Mine forms a skewed “Z” like shape (or maybe a squarish “S”?) and it will always be that way till the day I die. Or… I can die trying to get it that way but it will still never be right.

But I take class because it’s like doing scales on a piano (which I also have a story for, for another time). It’s the basic foundation for almost all other forms of dance. It creates a strong core and it’s a beautiful art. I take it because I love it. I also applaud the teachers who are patient enough to tolerate and encourage students who are like me – never built for it but have the resilience and determination of a dung beetle trying to push up shit up hill. Or maybe they just see $ signs when they see students in class. I prefer to take the more romantic approach.

So I will keep trying till I no longer can.

Little Reiko and the “I can’t dance but you make me” Turkey.

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